I am a Chao Ah Beng?
I was very amused since Sunday after reading dk’s post here and here. Out of nowhere, two persons by the name of Cynthia and Carl commented in his separate posts and said the following,
.
So apparently I put on shows, I play humble, I play good man, I am a hypocrite, I am a nice guy wannabe, I hide my true character and most importantly…
I am a CHAO AH BENG!!!
.
I need to interrupt this post with this short message before I continue.
.
WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!
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Okay, moving on…
I have to admit that ever since my grades slipped in Sec 3, I have been in classes with the most notorious chao ah bengs(C.A.B) in school. These C.A.Bs do all sorts of things from bringing pR0n to school, shouting their gang slogans (YO AH YO!) in school at the top of their lungs, fighting in and out of school, detained by police for various reasons and using drugs.
But me? I was just their classmate leh. I am the nerdy kid who was thrown into such classes and made good friends with them but stayed away from the vices. Maybe I should classify myself as a C.A.B wannabe. I did emulate their walk with arms swinging widely behind. I started to swear a lot. I took part in a gang standoff once. Basically it started with 2 gangs of kids on each side of the basketball court with the real C.A.Bs standing in the front. The kids at the back like me are those who dunno-wad-the-fug is happening kind. First, the one-to-one gang leader talk and then the shouting begins. I think the shouting and swearing takes really long because most of them are hoping the louder ones will scare the other group away. The police came really soon because of all the shouting *facepalm* and we ran away in all possible directions.
The only time I got into a fight is when I was in primary 5 when I pissed off some older kid at a playground. Wahahaha! He then got his secondary school C.A.B friends and surrounded me for a confrontation.
Kid Whom I Pissed: “HE! He is the one who bullied me!”
Gang Leader: “Eh! WHY YOU TOUCH MY BROTHER?”
Me: “I never touch him lor.”
(He then walked really close to me and towered over me who was only 1.3m in height)
“We go there to settle.”
.
So I ended up at a lift lobby with 5-6 older kids surrounding me in a ring like fashion while the ‘kid-whom-i-pissed’ was in the makeshift ring with me. Kids our age don’t fight with proper styles if you know what I mean. There was more *piaks* than *bish*. After 10 mins of feminine punches and failed drop kicks, an adult came by and broke us up. I went home with a bruised forehead(because I headbutted him) and a sprained wrist. So much for fighting… HAAHAHA! But I was extremely pleased to find him at school a couple of days later with a cast on his arm.
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I do sound gruff and fierce and if I don’t make an effort to smile like an idiot, some people do percieve me as unfriendly and fierce. It also doesn’t help that I have a C.A.B face and look like I smoke 3 packs a day.
Thank you Cynthia and Carl, I had nothing to blog about until you peeps came along~
*Flutters C.A.B eyelashes and shows dimples*
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July 8th, 2008 at 11:29 am
OMG! That really really looks like ah Beng la! LOL!
You wouldn’t happen to have a Bachelor of Engineering would you? (B.Eng)
July 8th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I had a suggestion in mind. Remember when you posted a pic of yr school ez link card when you were talking about some girls stalking you or something?
Go label that head Chao Ah Beng =X
Nikkikos last blog post..SG’s Cosplay Festival 2008 ; More than just the outfits!
July 8th, 2008 at 11:53 am
WTF! OMFG WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFBBBQQQQQQ ROFLCOPTER CHICKENIPPLES LMAOADEEE!
THAT IS YOU?! HO MY GOD! omg! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I’m speechless.
July 8th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
oh my GAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
THATS REALLY A CHOW AH BENG LOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t need to deny liao LARRRRRRRR!@#$%
OK
you should start leaving your hair long now…
molemoles last blog post..Lunch With Yebber — Ep 5 @ Mint Museum of Toys
July 8th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Fwah. Got oily hair!
July 8th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Chao Ah Beng is better than Chao Ah Gua.
July 8th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
The horror … the horror …
July 8th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Hahahaahah we all know kris LOVES telling story. And all of his story has agenda one. All to make him to be the Mr Nice Guy nia. This post no difference. Aiya you think you are nerdy but you are actually an ah beng. But tell me which ah beng will call himself an ah beng? Which drunkard will say he is drunk? Which madman will admit he is mad?
HHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You hor, very funny leh, everybody know you are putting up a show in all your blog post and telling stories to put yourself in a good position nia lah!
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Super duper hypocrite lor.
July 8th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Er, I gotta admit that photo DOES look beng lor…
paceds last blog post..Finally!!! Its OVER!!!
July 8th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
canbeng> You are also so funny!
HAHAHAHA!!!
I also found out that you are the same person as this fellow. https://krisandro.com/2008/06/15/happy-fathers-day-to-my-mother/#comment-907
HAHAHAHA!!!
I know I am funny!
HAHAHAHA!!!
Have a nice day!
HAHAHAHA!!!
July 8th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Oei C.A.B. wannabe! When you wanna come out and SETTLE?
Nics last blog post..Time to own up – do you SMS while driving?
July 8th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
wah… your photo does prove that you might be an ah beng before..
Bernards last blog post..Come see this and forget about all that hoohaa!
July 8th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
rofl! haha. thank god you cut your hair. i think you look way nicer with short hair. now more punk than beng. XP and nice post. i laughed in the library. XP
deathstarxs last blog post..3.31 am Blogging
July 8th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
If that picture over there is really you, I can safely say you look like one.
July 8th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Kris a C.A.B???. . . .
Ermmmmmmm…….
When we saw each other on the 1st day of poly he look more like a chao ah gua.
hahaha
dun see any part of him fit into C.A.B category.
Kris u r getting hate fans tat means u r getting more n more popular!!!!!
clap clap clap
July 8th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Lol..only you can make this sound like it’s a good thing. But why are people still giving names to others. Name calling are stuff for kids. But that’s good news Kris. It means even children read your blog.
Wide market appeal wor..not bad for a CAB wannabe.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Yr fan’s nickname always start with the letter C one eh
Cynthia Carl and Canbeng…
LOL
molemoles last blog post..Lunch With Yebber — Ep 5 @ Mint Museum of Toys
July 9th, 2008 at 1:19 am
Yup.. I think that u are getting more and more popular already whereby ppl that dun like you still bother to spend their precious time reading what you blog… Haha!!! Hmm.. acting to be a good man also require some skills de lorz.. people tat say u act perhaps are just jealous that you and rf managed to bump onto a blind man on the streets while they can’t!!! Whether you are acting to be a good man or you are a good man anot.. I think people that know you will have an answer to it… =P
July 9th, 2008 at 1:28 am
BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! I still cannot stop laughing!
*points at last pic*
..EPIC!
July 9th, 2008 at 1:30 am
LOL @ classic beng pic
July 9th, 2008 at 10:16 am
My gawd… the hair
arzhous last blog post..Beer Making 101: Cleaning up
July 9th, 2008 at 11:10 am
There was an Ah Beng revolution back then before the whole Hip-Hop craze, whereby all the bengs and lians turn to worship Fun Factory (anyone remembers? doh) from the origins of Masterboy (another classic).
It was just a culture (sort of?) back then, and everyone has gone through that phase in life. No? (guess you were a big dork back in those days and still is now.
)
Stop commenting on that hair of Kris, IT WAS THE IN THING THEN! ha!
1/2cents worth of thoughts.
July 9th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Shotgun> Yah. Some friends did say that pic looks like a serial rapist.
Chaosdingo> I think you secretly like C.A.Bs leh. Always so excited at ah beng pics.
molemole> Only you like me with long hair lor.
Jacelyn> Not oily hokays! It’s hair with a nice healthy SHINE~
Miss Loi> Wanna teach me math if I look like that?
paced> Yes it does! I heard if you print it and keep in your pocket, it works better than amulets.
Nic> TOMORROW LAR! CHANGI VILLAGE! 4AM! NO SEE NO LEAVE!
Bernard> Only look like lar… I am the meekest guy in poly. *cough*
deathstarx> Hehe.. thank you. And why are you surfing blogs in the library instead of studying? WHY WHY WHY?
Jawker> Not it’s not me. *cough cough*
Ah Khiam> Spoil my reputation leh you. SIMI CHAO AH GUA?
ignorantsoup> Yah, just like how you blogged about it the last time… Some ppl just don’t get it.
molemole> Heng your nick start with ‘m’
Jiaxin> Eh why your words sound like I am putting an act as well.. WAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
Chaosdingo> I think you really like it. Comment twice oredi.
payucash> YANDAO RIGHT?
arzhou> Center PARTING HOKAYS!
SnoopBlog> At last! Someone with good understanding of THE TIMES! Your 1/2 cents is worth a million here.
July 10th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Is a “chao ah beng” a schoolyard gangster?
I know very little about Singaporean slang.
July 10th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Chao Ah Beng is someone like Krisandro. Face mo peng(many holes from too much poking from other beng). When take picture, his smile will look like he wanna fight you lidat.
Then hor on top of that, they are very “NICE” one. I mean the way they treat people will be ‘perceived’ to be very nice because it’s part of their after effect as a beng(who did many bad things) to manipulate people to think they are “nice” which in actual fact everyone knows a leopard can never change it’s spot.
So in short they are obsessed to be “nice” in the eyes of people because all their life they are not. That is why they are called chao ah beng – meaning smelly gangsters.
All the ah beng is same pattern one lah. They can hide their past but from the way they manipulate people, you can tell their agenda. Krisandro had been using his blog to show people how “NICE” he is. Yeah right. All nice things quickly post. What humble lah, what help blind man la. What condemn himself say his singing suck la. You know he is trying to attract attention via virtues qualities lah.
This chao ah beng i tell you, his real mood will be slam chair, scold you KNNBCCB type whenever angry. So everything he put out so far, dont take it at face value hor. So remember hor guys, this chao ah beng is only playing up on the screen, everything he say is for show hor, not the real him hor.
July 10th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Wah! cahooteng!! (or perhaps it should be Cynthia or Carl?? U so clever leh! How come you know all these things about Krisandro ah? Or did you imagine him like that in your dream?
Everyday the first thing he said to me when I arrive is KNNBCCB! And than he treats me uber friendly and nice throughout the entire day. Than hor, before he leave work right, he’ll turn to me, give me a stab in my head and shout KNN at the top of his voice leh!
He’s really sibei chao ah beng loh!
Hey btw! Have we met? My nick also starts with a “C” leh! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
July 10th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
@kris –> I like it because you had such chubby cheeks!!!
fatty bom bom! ^^
July 10th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Okay, got it.
Chao ah beng = Krisandro
Thank you, cahooteng. ;__;
July 11th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Kym> Hello Kym from Sydney! CHao AH Beng = gangster! But I am not one! =D
Claudia> you liar! I use more swear words than that lor. LOL
chaosdingo> SKINNY LEH! WHERE CHUBBY?
July 13th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I find ya website v entertaining. the only one i will actually look 4ward 2 read. Hypocritcal? I find that ya in-btween sacarsm so like me. So wat if u r C.A.B. Better than those kids who cnt behave themselves n call pple names, who hve no experience in life and think they r king until they r burnt. I relate to many of ya stories n share same sentiments. esp the human wall traffic. keep it up :>
July 15th, 2008 at 12:36 am
advent> Hey thanks! It’s really very encouraging for me to know tt you find my blog entertaining!
July 21st, 2008 at 11:53 am
A good hearted kind soul Chao Ah Beng is definitely better than a “Non-Ah-Beng” so-call “high-class-whire-collar executive” with a bad-mouth attitude.
加油!!
Old Bengs last blog post..笑话两则
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 am
Old Beng> haha! Thanks! Visited your blog and you are a really a semi hokkien ah beng blogger. WAHAHAHAHHA!!!
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
i also wanna be chao ah beng!!!!!