k r i s a n d r o

On Saturday, Claudia held a birthday party at De Coder’s Cafe with a bunch of her friends. The plan for some of us was to adjourn to PowerHouse@St James Power Station to party the night away and make Claudia drunk enough to strip and dance on the podium. Me and KuKuNehNeh had to leave earlier from the cafe as she needed to renew her membership card.

Molemole and her friend came along with the two of us and we cabbed to St James. We got into PowerHouse and I watched the seats as the 3 of them went for a toilet break. Like any time when I am alone like that, I will usually reach for my Nokia N95 phone and use the internet for I am an ADDICT and I am PROUD OF IT!

=P

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I reached for my right jeans pocket and it wasn’t there. I checked my right and it wasn’t there. I felt a gripping sense of fear as I checked my bag to find no trace of it. I frantically checked the plastic bag that held Claudia’s birthday card and IT WASN’T THERE AS WELL!!! I frantically went through all the possible places that my phone could be and if it wasn’t a public place, I would have stripped.

I MUST HAVE DROPPED IT IN THE CAB!!!

Time seems to slow to a crawl as I waited for the 3 of them to come back as I needed one of their phones to call my phone in hope that someone would pick it up. They soon came back and I gibberish-ed the situation to them as I stormed out into the quieter smoking area to make a call. In my head I was already thinking,

“It’s a bloody NOKIA N95 8GB HANDPHONE! It will take a miracle for someone to resist the temptation of just turning my handphone off and pulling out my sim card.”

As I reached the corner of the smoking area and dialled my number, I was already prepared to hear a busy tone which will probably end up with me cursing the fella’s dick to shrivel up and drop and if it’s a woman, to have her vagina close up and develop moss.

A connecting tone was what I heard and I immediately light up as the call connected.

A man’s voice: “Hello?”

I almost screamed with hope: “HELLO!! I AM THE OWNER OF THIS PHONE!”

“Hello! Yah. I picked up your phone in the cab.”

“Thanks for picking up my call!”

In short, there was a woman and a man in the cab who was heading to their home in Bukit Merah. There offered to keep the phone for me and have me collect it from them when able but I suggested for them to pass the phone to the cab driver to have him drive it back to St James with his meter on so that I could pay him.

I AM BLOODY LUCKY I TELL YOU!

But soon, an idiot will appear. I ended the call and wanted to turn back to the tables to tell them of the good news when a St James floor manager approached me.

Idiot: “You need to walk out of the smoking area and come in via the re-entry queue.”

Me: “Huh?”

“You need to go out and come in from the re-entry queue.”

“But WHY? I am IN the smoking area and I have not stepped out. Why should I do that?”

(and he starts to replay like a broken record)

“You need to go out and come in from the re-entry queue.”

(I got pretty pissed as this point and I raised my voice)

“LOOK! I said I DID NOT EXIT THE AREA. I was standing here and MAKING A CALL. WHY should I walk OUT and RE-QUEUE?”

(He seem to be hearing me for the 1st time and mumbled sometime before he quickly walked away)

“….cause you stepped across the line….”

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SERIOUSLY. WTF???

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Anyway, despite idiots like this who have WEIRD grasp of the rules in St James, I am happy enough to be thankful to the nice and kind couple who wasn’t greedy and the cab driver, Mr Quek, who drove my handphone back and accepted an $8 payment despite the $12 meter. (His cab doesn’t accept visa and I didn’t have enough cash)

I am seriously CARELESS and BLOODY LUCKY!

Which wall am I talking about?

Not this.

Not this either but it’s close.

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I am talking about pedestrians who walk about in Singapore in LINE FORMATION a.k.a The Singapore Wall or in short, I will like to call it the SingWall.

Qn) WHERE can one find this SingWall?

Ans) The SingWall is found everywhere in our sunny island. You will see it at the train doors before you enter. You will see it at the train doors when you exit. You can find it in our buses. You can certainly find it on overhead bridges. And you will most likely see it on pathways!

Qn) WHEN can one see this SingWall?

Ans) Anytime actually! And the appearance of such walls have been widely speculated that its related to how hurried you are. If you are in a rush, you’ll most likely see the SingWall!

Qn) Who can be a part of this SingWall?

Ans) Anyone! Even you! The usual SingWall is made up of inconsiderate people like a-holes, deekheads, beeeches, farkers and all sorts of names that will make your Mum blush when heard.

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So how does a typical SingWall looks like? Let me illustrate!

1. You(Red) are in a hurry.
2. SingWall(Grey) is strolling along in the same direction you are heading at a toddler’s pace.
3. You are huffing and puffing and almost breathing down the neck of the member of the SingWall on the extreme right.
4. They are oblivious to you.
5. You attempt to squeeze through the small space on the right.
6. You fail and have to step to the side again because a guy(Blue) walking from the opposite direction approaches.
7. You watch as the extreme right member(E.R.M) of the SingWall steps back and lets the approaching guy pass.
8. You see the window of opportunity and sprints towards the gap.
9. Agony and disgust fills you up as the E.R.M walks BACK TO WHERE HE WAS.
10. You mutter a meek “Excuse me…” and E.R.M doesn’t hear it.
11. As you mentally control adjust your volume in your head to let out a big one, another random guy from the opposite direction approaches and the same thing happens all over again.

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Have You Seen the SingWall?

I was at KuKuNehNeh’s place after work and rested on her bed, Cleopatra style, when she turned over and asked,

“DEAR!”

(By the way, she likes to grab my attention just like that and it always seems as though she will say something shocking that will rock my socks off)

Me: “Yes?”

“Time pasts so fast! We are together for almost 11 MONTHS!“

“YEP!”

“And we haven’t even quarrel before hor?”

“Hmmmmm…. No leh. But there was once when you were super dulan (pissed) at me for something that I blogged.”

“Yah… But we never quarrel what!”

“So you want to quarrel lar. Can lor.”

“No lar! SIAO!”

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It isn’t the first time that she said it out loud that we don’t quarrel and it’s quite amazing looking back at my past relationships. It’s easy to just say that KuKuNehNeh is easily pleased but I think it’s more about her being a very appreciative woman. I can’t be that different of a person from my past relationships and now and so it is highly likely that I am doing the same as a boyfriend.

It dawned upon me that if any couple doesn’t quarrel, it can also mean that they try to hard to accomodate each other and keep all their unhappiness inside and it isn’t good because such bottled feelings might accumulate over time and burst out when you least expect it.

I also know of too many couples who quarrel frequently and through it, they totally understand each other but the relationship also gets strained over time. And do note that ‘understanding each other’ doesn’t mean that the problem is solved. Understanding your other half hates the fact that you always stay out late doesn’t mean that you will stop your partying life.

For both extreme cases, there are always examples of couples who stay together without ever quarrelling or those who fight it out regularly but they are so rare!

What’s the best solution IMHO? If there is something that is bothering you, talk it out NICELY. If both of you can come up with an agreeable solution, adopt it. If there is something that cannot be agreed on…

Agree to disagree. And move on.

I think KuKuNehNeh and I are mostly working on this principle so far. I may be mistaken though. If I suddenly disappeared and stopped blogging. You guys know who to prosecute.

I once said that carelessness is one of the biggest drawbacks of me as a person as I am one who can sometimes be so deep in thought that without realizing it, I have already crossed the road. Countless number of times when this happens and I will suddenly be aware of my body and go,

“Eh?!?!?! I DON’T REMEMBER CROSSING THE ROAD!!!”

It’s sometimes pretty scary to think that I am on ‘auto-mode’ when doing things like crossing the road but it’s a good skill to have provided that it is fail safe. I don’t want to be roadkill.

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One of the biggest problems I have as a blogger would be my memory. I have such bad memory. Some who know me personally might say otherwise but I think I have ‘selective memory’. My brain registers infomation ‘permanently’ on certain subjects and the rest goes into my ‘RAM’ which gets cleared every 3 seconds or so. For example, if it’s the first time I meet you and you tell me your name, I will forget almost instantanously. I will only remember the conversation and especially if you tell me interesting things like how you like to dig your nose… with your thumb.

I am not implying that anybody I’ve met at the HP TouchSmart PC Event that I went to yesterday likes to dig their nose with their thumb. But if it JUST SO HAPPENS that I met you yesterday and you REALLY like to use your thumb. Well… erm… do reconsider your other options.

While I am on that anyway, I will like to extend my gratitude to Waggener Edstrom for organizing and Daryl a.k.a UniqueFrequency for inviting me to the event.

[Screenshot from here]

The TouchSmart PC looks great and I shall have another entry of it when I find more time. It’s great to also meet up with more bloggers at the event like…

er….

…like…

YOU SEE LAR!

I DON’T REMEMBER THE NAMES OF EVERYONE I MET!!!

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I do remember the conversations that I had with each of you guys though. I think I got to either improve my memory or make it a habit to jot down everything I want to remember. If I jotted down stuffs yesterday, some of the things I would have written down were…

1. I took a picture with Jacelyn a.k.a daintyflair and apparently, I look humsup (lecherous). I never looked at the picture properly but maybe I was drooling or something.
2. Claudia has a humsup for the HP TouchSmart PC.
3. Juzzywuzzy has his humsup goatee back.
4. Hillary couldn’t recognize who I was and probably thought I was a humsup trying to pick her up.
5. I helped Daphne take a picture with two other ladies and the camera auto-focused on her left boob. The camera was humsup. If the picture turned out shaky, I am sorry. I was trying to contain my laughter.

WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAAHA!!!