k r i s a n d r o

KuKuNehNeh has been quite stressed with her new job recently. She is not a ‘numbers’ kind of person and she is also not suited for a desk bound job. It certainly is a joke to have those two elements in her current appointment. It also doesn’t help that she has been working OT very frequently for the last couple of weeks.

One such friday, during our late dinner after her OT, she called out to me,

“Eh, Jac!”

“What did you just call me?”

Both of us burst into laughter as she realized she addressed me using her lady friend’s name.

Soon, she started to relate her day at work and said something along the lines of,

“Wah! Today really mad like rush…”

“What is mad like rush? Rush like mad lar dear!”

WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Back at home when she was about to sleep, she wanted me to turn on the table lamp.

“Dear, can you help me turn on the side lamp table?”

“Dear…… it’s called the side table lamp.”

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This is what happens when she gets all stressed up. Poor girl. I love her to bits and feel helpless when she is stressed out like that. But we still laugh at such moments… at her expense of course!

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KuKuNehNeh and I woke up to a lazy Saturday and she decided that she wanted to eat prata. We settled for Casuarina Curry Restaurant (Casuarina Road). After eating at the highly acclaimed prata joint for the 2nd time, I dare say that the prata at The Roti Prata House (Upper Thompson Road) is much better!

Feeling fat and adventurous, KuKuNehNeh suggested that we should take a walk at Lower Peirce Reservoir. Half sleepy and filled with fattening prata in my belly, I agreed to her suggestion and promptly ignored that the weather was crazily, scorching hot at 1pm.

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We saw a couple walk into the start of the trail about 200m ahead of us and disappeared. Don’t know where they went to hanky panky. Anyway, the Lower Peirce Trail that we took was pretty much shaded most of the way and we stayed cool under the foliage and the nice scenery.

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We started to take some pictures with my Nokia N95 and decided not to cam-whore ourselves as we both look like shit. Hardly any grooming after waking up and we were wearing our nerdy spectacles. So, this is all you can get of us.

KuKuNehNeh says that she got nice butt

I say, mine nicer lor

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As we were walking on the trail and surrounded by nature, I suddenly had a better idea on how to catch Mas Selamat. Why use so much manpower to comb areas such as Lower Peirce Reservoir? No need to ask NSFs to use sticks to prod at bushes lar!

Remember the saying,

“Ask and you will be given, seek and you shall find.”

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Yah right. If only it be THAT easy.

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Did you know that certain parts of the trail have names? The names are all pretty cool! I might use them for my future children. I always wanted to name my child ‘Sun’, but unfortunately my surname is ‘Tan’.

‘Hevea Tan’ if it’s a she!

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‘Oncospermum Tan’ if it’s a he!

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Nice right? Until the dirty quick minded KuKuNehNeh said,

“Dear! Dear! You see carefully!”

“Oh yah hor!”

SPERM TRAIL!

WAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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After leaving the trail and onto the roads, the dirty quick minded KuKuNehNeh called for me sexcitedly again,

“DEAR!! DEAR!!! LOOK AT THAT ON THE GRASS!”

Durex – Together

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Whoever left the box there, I have this to ask you.

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“That HORNY MEH? Traffic junction also can DO AH?”

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[Image from Sistic]

I was pretty lucky to have been offered 2 tickets for free to Mayday’s (五月天） concert, held at the Singapore Indoor Stadium on the 26th April. It was a gift from my Uncle who is one of the senior directors at the Indoor Stadium. SHIOK RIGHT? JEALOUS ANOT???

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On an unrelated note…

I brought up to Ruifang on Saturday that almost all the bloggers call their other half or their close friends by nicknames.

Sheylara calls him The Goonfather.

Rinaz calls him CartCart.

Peggy Chang calls him MiuMiu

Xiaxue calls her mum MoMo

So, from now onwards, Ruifang is known as KuKuNehNeh. (Don’t flame me. Half of it was her idea)

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So, KuKuNehNeh and I were quite kiasu and we left Ang Mo Kio 2 hrs before the concert at 8pm. It was a wise choice in the end as the car park at the stadium was quickly filled up not long after we arrived at 6.30pm. Being the lazy asses that we are, we concluded that it was too far to join our friends for dinner at Leisure Park. What did we do to curb the hunger?

Eat BAO at 7-11 lor.

The both of us weren’t big time fans of Mayday and I only really listened to 2 old albums of theirs and KuKuNehNeh has only listened to ONE. Having such little love compared to the swarm of people flooding the stadium, we can’t help but snigger at the youngsters posing with their Mayday t-shirts and laugh at the crazy energy of the throngs of fans (*cough* Yiting *cough cough* Yanling *cough*) inside the stadium.

Panoramic shot from KuKuNehNeh’s LG Viewty. Cool eh?

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One such crazy fan was ‘sitting’ to the right of us. I wouldn’t say sitting actually, because she was standing up more than 3/4 of the time and blocking our view. She was shaking her booty, bouncing up and down, nodding her head with fury and playing with imaginary drums with her two blue light sticks.

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At certain points in time, she really look like she was having spasms. Nearing the end of the concert, one of her light sticks flew out of her hand and into the sky, and landed right in front of us. Without breaking the beat of her spasm-y dance, she turned her head and looked at the group of us sheepishly. Realizing that her blue lightstick is gone, she promptly takes out another stick. EVEN MORE POWER ONE!!!

Bigger and in rainbow color!

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The couple to my left laughed and said,

“Wah! Got spare!“

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WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The band really had a lot of energy and knows how to keep the crowd going and I really love the tone of 阿信’s voice. It’s a pity that me and KuKuNehNeh enjoyed their old hits so much more. Many of their new hits don’t have that kind of impact and identity that the old ones have. All the above reduced our enjoyment of the show.

All the above…. and that spasm-y woman.

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I applied to be a cabin crew today. Air steward lar, not stewardess . Friends and a couple of guys I met at the interview asked me if I tried out for the pilot vocation prior to this, given my ‘experience’ in the Air Force. No offense to all the stewards and stewardesses out there, but I feel that it takes a lot more passion and commitment to be a pilot. So my plan was to try out the life of a cabin crew, before deciding if flying was my thing.

Having spent Saturday night at Mayday’s Concert (will blog about it later), and only managing to sleep at 4am, I snoozed through my alarms at 7am, 7.15am, 7.30am and a backup clock that rang at 7.40am. I only woke up to the ring tone of my girl calling. I have no recollection of me pressing the snooze button on my HP nor my backup alarm clock. That is how tired I was.

I manage to reach Sheraton Towers 15mins after 9am and there is probably about 400 people or more already waiting. At first, I thought I overdressed in my sleek black pants, white striped shirt, cuff links and tie as I see people wearing all sorts of funky attire. Luckily, I see more similarly dressed gentlemen as I walked by more people. HARLO! INTERVIEW FOR SIA LEH! NOT SINGAPORE IDOL LEH!

Scanning through the faces in the crowd, I could immediately tell which ones are going to breeze through because of their looks, unless they had speech problems lar.

“I.. I… lub… er… lub to join SIA.. beecuz ah…. I er… lub to fly lor. Huh? How to spell lub? Yew dunno meh? ‘L’, ‘U’, ‘B’ lor….”

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I had to wait an hour plus to be assigned to a group of 10 guys and had to wait another hour for the first interview. The first round had all 10 of us facing a panel of 2 lady judges and after greeting us, they asked,

“Within a minute, please tell us a little about yourself and what you expect from a career as a cabin crew.”

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Such a simple question but I was the very first in line to answer the question. 4 hours of sleep, 9hrs of hunger and 10 seconds of reaction time and I said,

“Good morning everyone! My name is Kris which is spelled as ‘K’, ‘R’, ‘I’ ,’S’ and I am pretty sure that if I do get into SIA, my nick will be KrisFlyer.”

(Laughter from the judges and the panel)

I then talked about my newfound interest in travel and hope to realize that interest of mine while being paid to do so. I thought I screwed up despite tickling the floor as SIA is a service orientated company and I should have talked about my DYING LOVE OF SERVING PEOPLE DRINKS *twist fingers*. One guy talked about having a family of SIA background; another talked about his love for making people smile; one talked about wanting to be a steward since young. It’s his LIFELONG dream or something. If you are that guy reading this, I hope you didn’t lie or you’ll need to prepare for a long confession with your pastor.

Results were out after another 20-30mins of waiting. AND I MADE IT! 7 out of the 10 dudes got through and we had to wait another 1 hr for round 2. As we stood outside the doors of the next room, there were hints floating around that it was a round of ‘cat walking’. I LOL-ed at that thought. I had to mentally keep my hunchback walk and ah-beng swing in check.

In the room we go and this time, I wasn’t the 1st. I had my chance to see what the invigilator was looking at. Her instructions were to walk towards her from a room distance, Stop at a meter before her. raise both hands to our fronts, flip our hands to let her see the other side and then stand to our right and to our left.

Throughout this whole time, the invigilator looked at her papers as the guys walked towards her. ONCE in a while would she briefly glance at their legs. When they were told to rotate their bodies to the left and the right, would she then look at their faces with interest.

I thought to myself,

“GREAT! It’s just a face inspection after all. I battled acne for years. My face isn’t smooth like your butt leh.”

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Like a few other guys, I was told to step CLOSER to her after the end of the walk towards her. Guess what? The guys who did that had bad skin like me. She needed to see more clearly. I wouldn’t be surprised if she took out a magnifying glass.

A good half an hour later, the results were out and only 3 out of the 10 guys who went it got through. Brave smiles, handshakes and whispers of “End of the road” and “Good luck” were exchanged before we went our separate ways.

Well, maybe after writing this post, any chances of joining the airline later might be severely crippled but I really need to relate the experience.

In conclusion, I think that if looks and good skin were so important in their selection process, it should have been the FIRST round. A person can’t do much for that day if he is ‘ugly’ or is ridden with facial scars or pigmentation. So, why not do it right at round 1? Just send people home if their looks do not qualify. Let round 2 and 3 be chances for personality to shine through. With a minute of thinking, I can shine through speech and confidence, but I can’t make my face smooth like toufu for the same one min. Heck, not even for a year.

Agreed?

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