Almost 11 Months Together – WHY HAVEN’T QUARREL?
I was at KuKuNehNeh’s place after work and rested on her bed, Cleopatra style, when she turned over and asked,
“DEAR!”
(By the way, she likes to grab my attention just like that and it always seems as though she will say something shocking that will rock my socks off)
Me: “Yes?”
“Time pasts so fast! We are together for almost 11 MONTHS!“
“YEP!”
“And we haven’t even quarrel before hor?”
“Hmmmmm…. No leh. But there was once when you were super dulan (pissed) at me for something that I blogged.”
“Yah… But we never quarrel what!”
“So you want to quarrel lar. Can lor.”
“No lar! SIAO!”
.
It isn’t the first time that she said it out loud that we don’t quarrel and it’s quite amazing looking back at my past relationships. It’s easy to just say that KuKuNehNeh is easily pleased but I think it’s more about her being a very appreciative woman. I can’t be that different of a person from my past relationships and now and so it is highly likely that I am doing the same as a boyfriend.
It dawned upon me that if any couple doesn’t quarrel, it can also mean that they try to hard to accomodate each other and keep all their unhappiness inside and it isn’t good because such bottled feelings might accumulate over time and burst out when you least expect it.
I also know of too many couples who quarrel frequently and through it, they totally understand each other but the relationship also gets strained over time. And do note that ‘understanding each other’ doesn’t mean that the problem is solved. Understanding your other half hates the fact that you always stay out late doesn’t mean that you will stop your partying life.
For both extreme cases, there are always examples of couples who stay together without ever quarrelling or those who fight it out regularly but they are so rare!
What’s the best solution IMHO? If there is something that is bothering you, talk it out NICELY. If both of you can come up with an agreeable solution, adopt it. If there is something that cannot be agreed on…
Agree to disagree. And move on.
I think KuKuNehNeh and I are mostly working on this principle so far. I may be mistaken though. If I suddenly disappeared and stopped blogging. You guys know who to prosecute.
