k r i s a n d r o

10 Better Things You Can Do With 130 Minutes Than Watching Twilight: New Moon

1. Watch paint dry.
2. Twiddle your thumbs.
3. Count the number of seconds in 130 mins. All 7800 seconds.
4. Masturbate till you get sores.
5. Stand outside any ticketing counter and watch trailers.
6. Hunt for vampires.
7. Attempt to lick your elbows.
8. Attempt to bite your own neck.
9. Get a crowd to watch you try to bite your own neck.
10. Anything else other than watching Twilight: New Moon.

 

The only time I ever detested a movie at the cinema this much was when I fell asleep watching Nim’s Island. And frankly, I will actually rate Twilight much lower than Nim’s Island.

Bad acting. Horrible plot. The director might as well have just asked the good looking cast to stand around half naked for 130 minutes and do nothing but stare at the cameras. It would still have been a great movie for those who liked it.

Please save your money and don’t pay to watch Twilight: New Moon please. Don’t even waste time watching it even if it is free.

You have been warned.

KuKuNehNeh(KKNN) and myself were at Ang Mo Kio Hub yesterday for dinner and apart from filling the ever-growing tummies of ours, we were also there to buy tickets for Watchmen. At this point you’ll be thinking, “why the hell does the tech savvy Krisandro need to buy movie tickets off the counter when he can just buy it off the net at the comfort of his computer?”.

Well, for a long time now, UOB credit card holders can actually buy tickets from Cathay Cineplexes at a great price of $6 per ticket for weekdays and $8 for weekends. The weird thing is that one cannot enjoy the same offer using a UOB credit card when purchasing online. *facepalm*

As I was thumbing down on the iPhone checking out the movie timings for Friday, KKNN turned to the posters to check out the other movies that were showing.

“Eh Dear!” KKNN called for me with the usual urgent tone that could mean that she needs saving from a zombie.

“What?”

“Do you know who the director of Marley & Me is?”

“Er…. No.”

“He is the same director that directed the movie ‘The Devil Wears PRATA.”

I jerked up from my mobile’s screen and stared at her for a split second.

“WAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA~~!!!”

I have always been skeptical of locally produced shows. The predictability of the script, the cheesy visuals, horrendous camera skills, half-baked acting & amateurish sound effects, just to name a few. And in some cases, especially in TV serials, I see ALL the bad elements I mentioned come together. It’s no surprise that I have not been watching any local TV show consistently and I seldom ‘risk’ buying tickets to a local show in the cinemas.

All thanks to molemole for telling me that Sheylara was giving out free tickets on behalf of Blog Aloud, I quickly emailed her and msn-ed her almost concurrently to enquire on the availability of two shows, ‘Money No Enough 2′ and ’12 Lotus’.

Luckily, there are still tickets available for ‘Money No Enough 2′ and I asked for a pair for the show at Vivocity on the 7th Aug. FREE tickets! Although I am skeptical of local productions, the lure of a free movie, the good impression of the first installment of ‘Money No Enough’ and Jack Neo were good enough reasons for me to go for it.

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I brought KuKuNehNeh (KKNN) along for the movie and boy, did we enjoy it! I wont reveal the story here as I HATE people who review movies and reveal the plots which totally spoils the movie experience. The script was predictable, the CG was cheesy although commendable for a local production and the advertising was too blatant for my liking. But Jack Neo did magic with the way he told the story. The issues he showcased were close to the Singaporean heart and channeled through incredible acting by the cast, especially through the malaysian actress, Lai Ming, who played the role of a mother in the movie. She was funny, she was believable, she made me tear. Credits to Mark Lee as well for he was the best performing local lad in the movie for me.

Jack Neo

Mark Lee

Lai Ming

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Jack Neo appeared in the theater after the credits rolled and his presence made the event even more worthwhile. He answered questions to the best of his ability and tried as much as he could to answer them in English. Molemole helped me and KKNN take a picture with him together at the end of the show.

I Had a Hand On Jack Neo And He Had His On My GF

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I know that the critics have been harsh on the movie but I think it is definitely worth the money for a movie that will tug at your heartstrings. Thanks again to Sheylara and Blog Aloud for the tickets.