k r i s a n d r o

I was at KuKuNehNeh’s place after work and rested on her bed, Cleopatra style, when she turned over and asked,

“DEAR!”

(By the way, she likes to grab my attention just like that and it always seems as though she will say something shocking that will rock my socks off)

Me: “Yes?”

“Time pasts so fast! We are together for almost 11 MONTHS!“

“YEP!”

“And we haven’t even quarrel before hor?”

“Hmmmmm…. No leh. But there was once when you were super dulan (pissed) at me for something that I blogged.”

“Yah… But we never quarrel what!”

“So you want to quarrel lar. Can lor.”

“No lar! SIAO!”

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It isn’t the first time that she said it out loud that we don’t quarrel and it’s quite amazing looking back at my past relationships. It’s easy to just say that KuKuNehNeh is easily pleased but I think it’s more about her being a very appreciative woman. I can’t be that different of a person from my past relationships and now and so it is highly likely that I am doing the same as a boyfriend.

It dawned upon me that if any couple doesn’t quarrel, it can also mean that they try to hard to accomodate each other and keep all their unhappiness inside and it isn’t good because such bottled feelings might accumulate over time and burst out when you least expect it.

I also know of too many couples who quarrel frequently and through it, they totally understand each other but the relationship also gets strained over time. And do note that ‘understanding each other’ doesn’t mean that the problem is solved. Understanding your other half hates the fact that you always stay out late doesn’t mean that you will stop your partying life.

For both extreme cases, there are always examples of couples who stay together without ever quarrelling or those who fight it out regularly but they are so rare!

What’s the best solution IMHO? If there is something that is bothering you, talk it out NICELY. If both of you can come up with an agreeable solution, adopt it. If there is something that cannot be agreed on…

Agree to disagree. And move on.

I think KuKuNehNeh and I are mostly working on this principle so far. I may be mistaken though. If I suddenly disappeared and stopped blogging. You guys know who to prosecute.

In the 1st part, I shared with you guys on how to get the 10/10 woman’s number. Now you have her number and she doesn’t have yours. Being in this situation, what would you do?

1. Call her immediately to see if the number is correct.

2. Call her that very night.

3. Call her the very next day.

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[Image from Flickr]

WRONG! Seeing is that she is a hot 10/10 woman, she probably got 10 guys or more who tried to pick her up that day. And let’s just be optimistic and say that 5 out of the 10 (including yourself) manage to get her number. How many of the 5 will call her within 48hrs? All the other 4 would, most of the time. But you! You are different, because you have been enlightened by krisandro and his crap!

Call her only after a week or slightly less. Why? Because, after 2 days the 10/10 would have gotten calls from the other predictable 4 guys. In the next few days, she would be wondering, “Hey, why didn’t the 5th guy call me?”. She may not think of you THAT often, but having just ONE thought, makes her think of you without you doing anything at all. By this time, her interest would have risen a little bit because you are different and a little mysterious. Do take note that it is also important to not wait THAT LONG. If you call her 5 years later, thinking that she will salivate over the phone for you, please wake up your ducking idea.

The next point might be harder to accept. We all know that most girls LOVE to chat over the phone. Most guys bank on that idea and try to charm a woman over the same medium as well. The truth is, studies have shown that ‘communication’ is 55% visual (body language & eye contact), and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice) and words you use are only a measly 7%.

What does this mean to you? It means that if you talk to her over the phone and you have PERFECT vocal skills and FLOWERY vocabulary and score a 100% on both terms, you will still fail on the overall. Because, the two terms I mentioned only make up 45% of ‘communication’.

The best thing you can do when you manage to call her is to do the following.

1. Say your name and hope that she remembers you.

2. Jog her memory a little if she doesn’t

3. Ask her out on a dinner date on WEEKDAYS. (Fridays count as weekends)

4. Offer a specific date and time.

5. If she agrees on that date, end the call politely.

6. If she disagrees, wait for her to counter-propose.

7. If she doesn’t, propose another day.

8. If she rejects it as well, end the call politely with no hints of calling back.

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Let me explain further on the few points. The reason why you only ask a woman out on weekdays for the 1st few dates is because almost everyone values weekends more than weekdays. Weekends are usually for close ones like family, friends or love interests. By asking her out on a weekday, you don’t threaten her plans and increase the possibility of her being free enough to go out with you.

The point of asking her out on a specific date and time is to show your confidence and to reduce her thought process. If you ask open ended questions like, “Hey, WHEN are you free ah?”, she will think about a lot more stuffs other than her schedule. If she rejects your first offer, pause and wait for her to speak. If she does counter-offer, it shows that she is genuinely not free and wants to offer another date. Lots of men try too hard and sound like,

“Tomorrow not free ah? How about Tuesday? No? Wednesday? Thursday leh? FRIDAY CAN? PLEASE?“

Of course she might not counter-propose and you should try ONE more time. But that’s it. If she still rejects your second proposal for a date and time, end the call politely. If you really want to try again, do it again after a week or less to show that you have determination but not desperate enough to call her the very next day.

If you played this right, and she agrees to the date and realize that she still doesn’t have your number after the call. Good for you! Call her again on that dinner date itself to confirm the date and give her your number, so that you don’t stand in the middle of Bugis Junction looking like an idiot. If she asks for your number on the 1st call, its okay as well. But now, she has some means to think about it and may reject you easily with just an sms.

[Image from Flickr]

Scoring the 1st date is just a small step towards the goal of having her as your girl. I may blog about the “Do’s and Don’ts of Dates” when I feel like it. Meanwhile, you all can stutter and stumble your way around. :p

Oh and by the way, don’t hate the girls who say ‘No’ to you that early. Be grateful that you get rejected early than having her hover around and wasting your time with you thinking that you got a chance. Recognize the signs that she isn’t interested in you and move on.

First of all, I have to say that I am by no means a love guru nor a player who is speaking from experience from bedding all the hot babes from Tuas to Changi. I am just a guy who loves to read a lot on the psychology of humans and especially on BGRs.

[Image from Flickr]

The title should have been ‘Tips On How To Tackle The Elusive Beautiful Woman’ but to me, beauty comes from within and its not about looks. For example, KuKuNehNeh is definitely not a 10/10, but she is beautiful to me. My mum may be old and wrinkled but she is the most beautiful woman I know. So, when I say ‘pretty’, I do mean the ladies that are rated 8 to 10/10 on the looks factor. Of course I do recognize that every woman is different and the following might not work on the 10/10 girl and work on the 3/10 girl instead.

Once again, I will like to emphasize that the following information you are about to digest are of bits and pieces of my reads and observations and not of my own personal experience.

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So, you met this hot looking girl at a club, the gym, at your workplace, the pool or even your HDB void deck. One look and you immediately rate her as a 10/10. You would die if you didn’t get to know her. What would you do?

1. Go up to her and deliver your cheesy pickup line. “Did anyone ever tell you that the stars are in your eyes?”

2. Write your number and name and pass it to her without saying much.

3. Secretly take her picture and bring the photo to a bomoh to cast a love spell.

Unfortunately, the 3 methods won’t work 99% of the time, unless you are a 10/10 guy to her as well. Even then, she might not even give two flying ducks about the 10/10 guy.

The 10/10 girl is a creature that have been complimented all her life. She has been bombarded with praises from all sorts of people and men have been pouring in numbers just to know her first name. So, if you are just a regular dude, how do you rise above the competition to even get to know her, much less to win her heart?

First, guys need to understand the reality factor. A 4/10 guy will have little or no chance getting a 10/10 girl. Before all you people that go, “But Kris! LOOKS DON’T MATTER!” start to flame me, please look around yourself. Everyone who is with another always have looks that are within range of each other. Of course there will be exceptions of couples who resemble ‘The Beauty & The Beast’, but that is such a small minority till the point of insignificance. Reality is, everyone, whether consciously or unconsciously, has a MINIMUM standard in how you want your other half to look.

Of course, every guy might over or under-estimate your looks factor and it’s not wrong to just try anyway. The secret about trying is not about methods but about giving up and moving on to the next target when you know the 10/10 is not interested in you.

When you do approach the 10/10 or any other female for that matter, she will immediately size you up even BEFORE you speak. On a scale of 100% in terms of interest, she will put you somewhere around the middle if you are lucky.

[Image from Flickr]

What do you say next? A simple ‘Hi’ will do really. Frankly, most pickup lines suck anyway. And you will actually decrease her interest level if you tried to deliver some funky line. Imagine if she doesn’t understand it the first time and your confidence plummets as you deliver it a 2nd time. If she is pleased at what she sees, a ‘Hi’ will do. If she thinks you look like shit with legs, it doesn’t matter if you can charm a corpse to rise from a grave.

Do not offer your name if you can. Chat her up with something related to the place or whatever she is doing. Keep it light and work on her answers if you can. Have her talk more then you. Girls hate it when you interrogate them as though you are filling a questionnaire. If she keeps answering your questions with one word answers, game over. If she is still not interested enough to ask for your name, you can ask now with the ‘I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine’ method.

“Hey, my name is Ah Kow, And you are….?”

Now, do not spend too much time talking with her till she wants to end it before you do. Chat her up, have her tell you her name or ask for yours first if able. End the conversation yourself by saying that you have to leave and ask for her number. Some women will say no, others will ask why, some will even ask for yours instead and refusing to give theirs.

Do not give them your number. Ever. It will most probably end up in the 1st rubbish bin she sees when you are out of her sight or in a recycling bin if she is eco-friendly. This is the last ‘test’ you can do on her to gauge her interest level on the 1st encounter. If she doesn’t want to give it to you. Don’t grovel and beg or ask why. Just be polite, say it’s alright, thank her for the conversation and walk away. If you got her number and she asked for yours, be cheeky and say, “No. I’ll call you.” and leave with a smile.

Congratulations, you got her number and you said ‘No’ to the 10/10 girl who hears ‘Yes’ 90% of her life.

Stay tuned for, “You got her number, what next?”