k r i s a n d r o

I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping outside my window. Rubbing my eyes as I stood at the window, I was amazed to find a rainbow as clear as a footpath leading from somewhere in the distance to my window sill.

The birds saw me and started to chirp in the tune of Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” and I heard the distinct sound of a horse neighing in the distance. True enough, a horse with white shimmering skin galloped from a distance, across the rainbow, and towards the direction of my window. I stood in shock and was rooted to the ground when I realized that it was actually a unicorn.

In a flash the unicorn flew through my window and into my room. All the animals started to follow the unicorn to where it stood in my room: birds, tigers, lions, monkeys, dogs, cats, squirrels, hamsters, rabbits, luohan fishes and some lizards.

The magnificent unicorn open its mouth in preparation to speak and these are the words that came out,

 

……………………

 

………………

 

………….

 

……..

 

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“WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!”

And after the laughing, the unicorn started to spear all the animals with it’s horn and humongous unicorn penis.

Happy April’s Fool everyone!

I TYPE MANY MANY BUT MY BLOODY SITE DIED!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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In short. I LOVE YOU DEEP DEEP MY DEAR KUKUNEHNEH!

Happy 1st Anniversary!

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=D

I don’t know if anyone shares the same views as me on this one, but I generally find that male bloggers have it tough compared to female bloggers. Since there is such a wide range of blogging styles, let me tie the success of a blogger by his/her traffic. Of course there are other factors that can determine the success of a particular blogger but let’s face it…

NO TRAFFIC NO TALK!

If someone on the street asks you, “Name me 3 top bloggers in Singapore.” How many of you people will actually name 3 guys or even 2? I think there will be some of you who won’t even name one.

[Image from here]

Why is it so? Are women better bloggers than men? What defines ‘better’?

What brings in the traffic? Someone who writes insightful posts in perfect English or a looker who post pictures and cannot write for nuts?

Go look at the blogs that you guys bookmarked or subscribed and tell me if it isn’t female dominated. If you have nuffnang polls, look at it and tell me if it isn’t female dominated readers.

First, let’s define success of a blog again. It’s largely based on popularity and popularity = traffic. And high traffic does NOT MEAN that a blogger writes well. In fact, I feel that there is a misconception in some people that blogging = writing. So to these people, they feel sick to their toes when they see female blogs full of camwhore-d pictures and little writing and these bloggers have enormous amounts of traffic. Many of these bloggers who enjoy relatively high traffic are often ridiculed by people but the amazing thing is…

Most people who dislike popular female blogs still visit them.

Do people who dislike popular male blogs still visit? Yes! But not as much as the former.

Let me just quote an example. I visit Dawn Yang’s blog often even though I think little of her writing. If you ask me to list a blog post that she wrote about, I really cannot remember anything she wrote. I only visit her blog to look at her pictures. My eyes automatically disregards all the text in her entries. I know many who dislikes her but still visits her.

Why oh why? It’s because the measure of a ‘popular’ blog is not by one’s writing.

It’s measured by how ‘interesting’ it is. And it doesn’t matter if you are an life, insightful, entertainment, food, pRon, LINKster(bloggers who scours the internet for links) or camwhore blogger. Whatever genre you are in, if you are interesting, traffic will come.

Now, let me paint you guys a situation. Let’s compare two imaginary bloggers.

1. Blogger A – Male, plain looking, writes about his mundane life.
2. Blogger B – Female, plain looking, writes about her mundane life.

If you had to choose between the two, who would you visit more often? I can name another 10 examples and most people will choose to read the female blog.

In reality, regardless of gender, people in general just like to visit female blogs more. It’s just the way it is. There are always exceptions but you simply can’t deny the fact that female bloggers tend to get a bigger chunk of the traffic.

Female bloggers are more interesting and hence more popular and there is nothing wrong with it!

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ACCEPT IT!

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And guys suck at camwhoring by the way.

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…Like me…

On Saturday, Claudia held a birthday party at De Coder’s Cafe with a bunch of her friends. The plan for some of us was to adjourn to PowerHouse@St James Power Station to party the night away and make Claudia drunk enough to strip and dance on the podium. Me and KuKuNehNeh had to leave earlier from the cafe as she needed to renew her membership card.

Molemole and her friend came along with the two of us and we cabbed to St James. We got into PowerHouse and I watched the seats as the 3 of them went for a toilet break. Like any time when I am alone like that, I will usually reach for my Nokia N95 phone and use the internet for I am an ADDICT and I am PROUD OF IT!

=P

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I reached for my right jeans pocket and it wasn’t there. I checked my right and it wasn’t there. I felt a gripping sense of fear as I checked my bag to find no trace of it. I frantically checked the plastic bag that held Claudia’s birthday card and IT WASN’T THERE AS WELL!!! I frantically went through all the possible places that my phone could be and if it wasn’t a public place, I would have stripped.

I MUST HAVE DROPPED IT IN THE CAB!!!

Time seems to slow to a crawl as I waited for the 3 of them to come back as I needed one of their phones to call my phone in hope that someone would pick it up. They soon came back and I gibberish-ed the situation to them as I stormed out into the quieter smoking area to make a call. In my head I was already thinking,

“It’s a bloody NOKIA N95 8GB HANDPHONE! It will take a miracle for someone to resist the temptation of just turning my handphone off and pulling out my sim card.”

As I reached the corner of the smoking area and dialled my number, I was already prepared to hear a busy tone which will probably end up with me cursing the fella’s dick to shrivel up and drop and if it’s a woman, to have her vagina close up and develop moss.

A connecting tone was what I heard and I immediately light up as the call connected.

A man’s voice: “Hello?”

I almost screamed with hope: “HELLO!! I AM THE OWNER OF THIS PHONE!”

“Hello! Yah. I picked up your phone in the cab.”

“Thanks for picking up my call!”

In short, there was a woman and a man in the cab who was heading to their home in Bukit Merah. There offered to keep the phone for me and have me collect it from them when able but I suggested for them to pass the phone to the cab driver to have him drive it back to St James with his meter on so that I could pay him.

I AM BLOODY LUCKY I TELL YOU!

But soon, an idiot will appear. I ended the call and wanted to turn back to the tables to tell them of the good news when a St James floor manager approached me.

Idiot: “You need to walk out of the smoking area and come in via the re-entry queue.”

Me: “Huh?”

“You need to go out and come in from the re-entry queue.”

“But WHY? I am IN the smoking area and I have not stepped out. Why should I do that?”

(and he starts to replay like a broken record)

“You need to go out and come in from the re-entry queue.”

(I got pretty pissed as this point and I raised my voice)

“LOOK! I said I DID NOT EXIT THE AREA. I was standing here and MAKING A CALL. WHY should I walk OUT and RE-QUEUE?”

(He seem to be hearing me for the 1st time and mumbled sometime before he quickly walked away)

“….cause you stepped across the line….”

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SERIOUSLY. WTF???

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Anyway, despite idiots like this who have WEIRD grasp of the rules in St James, I am happy enough to be thankful to the nice and kind couple who wasn’t greedy and the cab driver, Mr Quek, who drove my handphone back and accepted an $8 payment despite the $12 meter. (His cab doesn’t accept visa and I didn’t have enough cash)

I am seriously CARELESS and BLOODY LUCKY!