Happy Father’s Day to…… My Mother!
Most people who got to know me after my poly days do not know that my parents are actually divorced. It’s not something that I hide but I think people don’t really ask about parents at my age. I am guessing that one possible reason is that at my age, there is a high possibility that one’s parents are old and therefore, could have passed on. And asking about it might lead to awkwardness if the subject’s parents aren’t around any longer.
My father, or I would prefer to call, my ex-father, came from a relatively wealthy family who as a family business. He was sporty and enjoyed bowling and photography. I remember looking at his pictures in his younger years and he was… like me I guess. Tall and lanky. He managed to win my mothers heart over and his food addiction eventually took over through the years and he turned into a fat slob. I always had this joke for my close friends where I will depict this scene of my mum marrying this tall, slim and handsome man and to only turn over on the bed in the morning to find a human lard on her bed.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!
After I was born into the world, I had the habit of sleeping during the day and only waking up in the wee hours in the morning to wail. My poor mother was so stressed and depressed and did contemplate to throw me down the HDB and commit suicide. You know what the human lard did? Wear ear plugs and continue sleeping.
In my baby years, he did contribute to my pampers and milk fund. A grand total of ONE can of milk and TWO packs of pampers. *clap clap*
I remember he once approached me during primary school years saying,
“Kris! I struck 4D! I give your some extra pocket money okay?”
“Oh really!”
.
You know how much he gave me? $1+. ONE DOLLAR PLUS! At that age, I was already getting $8 per day for my pocket money.
As I grew older, he realized that I am quite the rebel and not the nicer son that he sees in my brother. So he hated my guts. When my friends call up my house and goes,
Friend: “Hello! Is Kris around?”
Human Lard: “HE DIE ALREADY!”
*SLAM*
.
He does it so often that my friends and I laugh about it so much (after the initial shock).
WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
I remember another incident that just shows his laziness. Back then, our remote control for the TV in our living room is spoiled and one has to use the controls on the TV to switch channels. So the Human Lard usually sits on his couch in the living room with his legs propped up on the stool and has some food resting on his belly that doubles perfectly as a table. He only needs to get up and take ONE step to turn on the TV, but no he doesn’t. Instead he…
Human Lard: “BENNE! (My brother’s name) Turn on the TV!”
And where would my brother be? He is in the room. He has to walk out his room to the living room to turn the TV on for that lousy excuse of a human. Whats worse?
(10 minutes later)
“BENNE! Change to channel 5!”
.
The Human Lard has affairs, smokes, gambles, is lazy, is a slob, is irresponsible, is not caring, is a miser. He even once quit his job so that he can watch the world cup. In some ways, I think his existence is worthy because, I want to NOT BE LIKE HIM.
Some people at this point may be feeling very uncomfortable and thinking of the favorite line that I hear so many times in my life.
“But Kris, after all, He IS your father.”
.
“Father my perky ass!”
.
To me, a man doesn’t become a father just by having a child. He must perform his duties as a father and as a husband. A father like mine was just somebody who contributed that ONE SPERM that brought me into existence. That is all really, not even love. I don’t hate him after so many years but I am very sure that I will not feel sad if I hear of his death.
.
My Mother on the other hand has been the one who has been playing both roles in mine and my brother’s lives. She is the caring mother who will tend to her children’s whims and emotional needs. She is the strong ‘father’ who works so hard to bring the bread home and fixes everything in the house.
So, on this father’s day, I will like to wish my Mum,
“HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, MUM!”
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June 15th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Son, I know you have a right of freedom of expression on your blog but to shame me to the rest of the world on this special day is really an undesirable act.
If not for me, you wouldn’t even had an existence. How dare you speak in languages that shows your disrespect right to the core.
Son, you may not agree with what I want to do with my life but listen, I have not played a role in your upbringing? Not even an iota? Now, i won’t call you ungrateful simply because I do not believe in shaming a member of my family in public.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Dad?
*tickles self*
Ha…. ha… ha… ha…
June 16th, 2008 at 3:07 am
Hey Kris! Your mum is very wei da!
June 16th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Kris, in a way, we grown up the same way, under the watchful eye of Mum. Though we wish for the warmness for a complete family and didn’t get it, let’s look upon this stage as something which matures and hardens us.
Darrans last blog post..My Toothless Sony Vaio
June 16th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Uber LOL @ first comment.
Epic fail. REMEMBER! NOW ALL YOUR COOKIES R BELONG TO ME!
Dingos last blog post..…..please, F- off.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:26 am
[quote]To me, a man doesn’t become a father just by having a child. He must perform his duties as a father and as a husband. A father like mine was just somebody who contributed that ONE SPERM that brought me into existence. That is all really, not even love. I don’t hate him after so many years but I am very sure that I will not feel sad if I hear of his death.[/quote]
wow sweet post,same thinking here.
yongweis last blog post..I don’t heal fast always.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:26 am
hey Kris, I’ve also been asking my frens (in the same plight) alot, why our era’s Dads so f-up de. Wa lao, after I read your entry, added on to my list of ‘frens with unbelievable dads’.
This Fathers’ Day, I avoided going out so I won’t see those happy family gatherings. I had never celebrated a ‘real’ Fathers’ Day anyway. Not in my memory. Wished for a sweet lil family since God knows when but it never came true. Long gave up on that dream of mine.
Got lots of stories abt my dad too… the long and unhappy history. But now that he’s sick and away, the whole thing seems to be coming to an end, after over 20 years of a big joke. I know I’m not as sad as what a normal daughter would be when he’s sick… and I don’t why I’m behaving like this… its probably very unfillial but maybe cos I was never close to him. Tried to but in vain too. Just can’t. Too much damage done. In the last few years, when the hate started to disperse, I tried to play my part, maybe not 100%, but at least 65-70%. but I don’t know and will never know whether he appreciated this 70%?
The whole world tells us that they are our Dads afterall. We can pretend or decide not to be related to them but ultimately, the father-son, daughter-son blood relationship can never be changed.
That’s true la. Well maybe past life owe them something ba.
This post of yours surely only illustrates 1/1000 of what your Dad has done to you, just like my blog entries – there’s too many incidents to say liao. For me, sometimes I think until very tired…………………. maybe one day I’ll just forget about everything. Why don’t I spend the effort to think how I should live my life good instead?
Though I feel sorry (for him and myself), that I can’t seem to have a chance to fufill my duties as a daughter, and he can’t live his golden years right.
But at least, we learn from it and be determined not to walk our paths like them… you can see ‘examples’ everywhere but our own Dads are the best living examples.
I think my Dad was not f-up to begin with…. dunno what happened… but I think is cos of $$$ and his unrealistic ambitions in life. So I say, happy jiu hao le… dun be greddy or think of revenge all the time… wun be happy. My Dad was a depressed and vengeful guy…
Sorry for such a long reply. Your post just stirred my emotions~
June 16th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Hi Krisandro,
BTW,I also have another fren, whose dad is even worse. Thus, I can understand how you feel, but maybe you can look in this way.
Since you dislike him so much, when you become a Dad, then you must not be like him. Else, your kid(s) feel the same way and they will respond the same/ similar.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Oh well. The world has all sorts of people .__.
Moms rock ^_^
niks last blog post.."Believe in Yourself"
June 16th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Every family has it’s own problem and stories which the outsiders might not know about it.. Since we are not granted a happy family, we must make sure that nxt time we must not follow those f-up parents’ acts to our own child when we have a family ourselves.. =)
June 16th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Who’s that person who hated ur guts Kris and posed as ur dad?
The Horny Bitchs last blog post..St James
June 16th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
haha i seriously can’t remember bein nice or switchin the channels for him. i cld juz remember that for most part of our lives wif him, we weren’t on talkin terms at all. ohhh wait. did we…. even hav a dad? haha!
June 16th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
What a Fathers’ Day post. Your mom certainly deserves so much better.
Bobos last blog post..Such love.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Unfortunately, we can’t choose our parents. It’s like playing tikum whether you get a good or bad one…
dead_cockroachs last blog post..Tennis Ball Launcher
June 17th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
sek ling> ya… SHI SHANG ZHI YOU MA MA HAO!!
Darren> In some way, I think the incompleteness really wasn’t the issue though. My family is complete and the Human Lard is just some growth tt needs removing. WAHHAHAA
Dingo> Nooooooo!!! NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!
yongwei> Good line eh?
vonx> No need to apologize for so much thoughts. You certainly feel strongly about this topic and I guess it really stirs alot of emotions.
w2k7beta> Yah. there are definitely much worse dads out there. Especially those who resort to violence or sexual abuse. And you are right, my main goal as a future father to be(I hope) is to not be like him.
nik> MumS ROCK! especially when you take pictures of her sleeping. HAHAHAHAHA
Jiaxin> Yup! Don’t do the same. If not the cycle nv ends!
The Horny Bitch> Dunno who leh. More and more ppl start to di seow me oredi.
beni> Come to think of it… maybe we really don’t have one hor? All in the mind!
Bobo> Yup! want to give me money so that my mum can deserve better?
dead_cockroach> yah… same goes with children. I see alot of families that stay together just becuz of blood relations. It’s not wrong but it ain’t good.
June 17th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
agree with you yong wei.. i’m in the similar background with you kris.. im trying to forgive.. its a bit hard for me.. and i know i cant release completely for now.. but this is the only way to solve it.. im trying very hard now.. wish me luck.. i hope the problem will not exist any longer in your relationship with your dad too.. =)
huifens last blog post..Strangest advice for your sex health
June 17th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
@huifen and kris
its a very complicated issue.
to me,a father is only a father when he knows how to
-Care
-Love
-Protect
-Get involved in activities which can do with children
-Be a friend
and not being a slop and scolding my mum for being logical about things,he contributes nothing,and gives my mum only 10dollars a day SOMETIMES,otherdays would be zero.
i haven’t been talking to him for months,we’ve given up on each other,his life is pretty messed up,and i’m not going to get involved with him anymore,he does illegal things,and its best i stay far from him though we live in the same block of concrete.
until he learns to apologise to me for all the wrong things he did to me, i don’t see how a son should know how to apologise too.
well,thats just toward him.
without a father,i’m still like this.
if i have a father,i would want people like mr miyagi,mr brown,mr cowboy caleb to be my example.
so inspiring,and so entertaining,and so mature. unlike uncles these days.
yongweis last blog post..How NOT to make good muffins.
June 17th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
everything happens in life for a reason. but for whatever reason it is, keep smilling for your mummy. she is a strong lady
June 18th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
i know wat u mean when ppl say “he is your father after all”
morals, my arse
Neither am i angry with both(in my case). just that one have been doing without either for so long. it really doesn’t matter anymore.
thank goodness for your mum, lucky man
cheers to good life !!!!
June 18th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Woah, i cant believe that we have the same past..my real dad also a real f’kin bastard, he divorced with my mom when i was still a baby T_T..he also love to gambling, affairs, druunk and such a thing..ohh poor my mom had to work hard for me, im gratefull that i have never seen that person in my life anymore since then..
And it’s always irritating when someone says “But afterall he’s your dad”..DAD my ASSSS…hahaha..
*high5*
Cimoetzs last blog post..I love mah new shoes
June 19th, 2008 at 11:44 am
huifen> If your dad is still physically ard, I guess it’s still a problem until you solve it. All the best to you!
yongwei> I am glad tt you are sharing your story but to say that you rather want those ppl you mentioned as fathers instead.. TT is kinda wierd. Ppl like mrbrown do portray as gd fathers through their blogs but it is their blogs. I am not taking anythign away from him but you can compare them to your own fathers if you don’t know them well.
G> Thanks. She is a strong woman, and I am touched that you can see that with the little things I’ve said. For me to really write about her, a post is simply far from enough.
kachuaz> Yah. you hit the nail right on the head. Doing without one just makes it easier. One cannot lose something that the one never had in the first place.
Cimoetz> YEAH! Only people who’ve been through what we did will understand why we cringe whenever ppl makes tt kind of statement.
*high5*!!
June 20th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
My dad is not so bad, except that he dont support the family and still ask for money from us.. but i know if he is gone one day, i will still be sad.. cos he is after all the same blood..
But yes, all our moms are the greatest.. Hoorays to all the moms..
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